Drawing The Digital Line: Help Stop Digital Dating Abuse

In the 8 months or so since I’ve been blogging (wow, has it really been THAT long?) there have been few things that have come across my e-mail, that strike closer to home than this issue: teenagers, texting and digital dating abuse.

Without going into much detail, I can also say that even as a mom to three teen boys, we’ve already been down this road once.

Teenagers today are connected in ways that we as parents cannot even begin to imagine. I mean, we know that they have phones, and text and Facebook, and maybe some of you are like me and have received and $800 cell phone bill where $750 was due to text messages (I wish I was making that up.)

What we DON’T realize any more than my dad (I was a teen in the ’80′s) understood how we listed to ‘Like a Virgin’ or ‘I Want Your Sex’ by George Michael, is how absolutely, utterly, and completely ingrained texting and electronic commnication is a very part of their being. So much so, that it can be difficult for their teenage brains to understand what is right and wrong when it comes to digital messages.

I am proud (and, ultimately, obligated I think) to help pass the word on about the NFL Players Association and Family Violence Prevention Fund’s newest effort at reaching teens. Below, you will find the information necessary in order for your kids to enter this contest. The prizes are AWESOME (you get to walk the red carpet with NFL Players! Hello! I hope moms are invited!) But, the message is even bigger. Whether you have boys, or girls (because, trust me, I’ve seen this go in both directions,) PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE encourage your kids to at least read some of these messages and perhaps come up with their own card.

Help us teach teens that digital abuse, of any kind, is not acceptible!

Teens: Get Creative, Draw Your Own Digital Line,

And Help Stop Digital Dating Abuse

 That’s Not Cool Callout Card Contest

“When you pressure me for nude pics, I throw up in my mouth a little. ”

“Congratulations!  With that last text, you’ve achieved stalker status. ”

“Those rumors you spread about me made my dog cry.”

Washington, D.C. (Feb. 4, 2010) – Those are some of the Callout Cards the Family Violence Prevention Fund (FVPF), Advertising Council and R/GA used last year to launch That’s Not Cool, a national public service advertising campaign designed to help teens recognize digital dating abuse and take steps to prevent it.  The campaign generates nearly 70,000 website visitors each month with tens of thousands of those teens sending That’s Not Cool Callout Cards (e-cards with a message) to their friends and dating partners. 

 Now, the National Football League Players Association (NFLPA) is joining the FVPF for the Callout Card Contest, designed to engage even more youth in this campaign.  The new Contest invites teens to create new Callout Cards that can be used to raise awareness of teen dating abuse and win cool prizes.  The Contest’s Grand Prize winner will receive a trip to Washington, D.C. to attend the NFL PLAYERS Gala, which honors players for their commitment to team, family and community.  The Grand Prize winner will have a chance to walk the red carpet at the event as well as get backstage access to meet, mingle and take pictures with top NFL stars.  Four runners-up will receive autographed NFL memorabilia, such as a jersey or helmet.  Ten honorable mention winners will receive That’s Not Cool t-shirts and NFLPA hats.

The Contest, for teenagers ranging in age from13 to 18, continues through March 15.  Submission information is available at www.thatsnotcool.com/contest.

Digital communication is central to teens’ lives and relationships. With new technologies come the risk of digital dating abuse, which includes unwanted, repeated calls or text messages; hacking into e-mail; spying on social networking accounts; or being pressured to send private or embarrassing pictures or videos. 

“Few teens know what to do when controlling behavior crosses the line and becomes abuse,” said FVPF President Esta Soler.  “That’s Not Cool has reached millions of teens, but we expect our new partnership with the National Football League Players Association to help us reach even more.  We are delighted to have a powerful new partner in our work to start conversations about textual harassment and digital abuse, give teens the tools to recognize and talk about it, and encourage them to define what is and isn’t okay.”

 “The NFLPA is proud to join the U.S. Department of Justice in supporting the Family Violence Prevention Fund and the That’s Not Cool campaign,” said Teri Patterson, NFLPA Special Counsel to the Executive Director.  “We are hopeful that the support of our players will bring additional awareness to this very critical issue.”

According to Technology and Teen Dating Abuse Survey, 2007 (conducted by Teen Research Unlimited and Liz Claiborne), one in three teens say they have been text messaged 10, 20 or 30 times an hour by a partner wanting to know where they are, what they’re doing, or who they’re with.  One in four teens in a relationship have been called disparaging names, harassed or put down by a partner through cell phones and texting.  More than half of teen girls (51 percent) say pressure from a guy is a reason girls send sexy messages or images, and 18 percent of teen boys say pressure from a girl is a reason (Sex and Tech Survey, conducted by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, 2008).

That’s Not Cool includes an interactive website, mobile phone component, television, radio, posters in schools and malls, and online ads all designed to help youth recognize digital dating abuse and give them tools to avoid it.  The campaign’s Public Service Announcements direct audiences to visit www.ThatsNotCool.com.  There, teens can find resources to “draw their own digital line” and a forum to discuss this form of abuse and seek help.  That’s Not Cool is supported by the U.S. Department of Justice’s Office on Violence against Women.

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