And tonight, a very special episode of ER.

Since I’m all into TV shows these days, and have found more blog material off of my in-love-teenager than I could ever have dreamed (this is even better than Jordan’s mouth…), today’s episode of teenage love is:

ER (not as in er….have you lost your mind, ER as in George Clooney, ER.)

Half of the love bird pair, not my half, is sick with a virus.

I was in Dallas, they texted Kloey’s mom, she made a doctor’s appointment for Kloey after school yesterday and told Kloey to meet her there.

HA.

These too are like conjoined twins. You get one, you get the other.

Of course they BOTH show up at the doctor’s office and plop down in the waiting room, with Kloey’s mom, following close behind.

So the nurse comes out and calls Kloey’s name, and guess what happens next.

Just guess.

They both get up. Together.

Yep. My son is either so freakin polite, or so totally oblivious to proper behavior, that he, of course, got right up with Kloey to go back there with her. IN THE ROOM.

Now ladies. We all know, once you pass a certain age and you go into the doctor’s office, they are gonna ask you all those normal fun questions, right?

Kloey’s mom pulls her aside, all like, HELLO, EARTH TO TEEN.

Kloey of course could care less and back they all went.

I didn’t ask how many people were in the waiting room watching this all unfold.

But you and I all know that if a teen boy, girl, and mom, walk into a doctor’s office together, anyone watching was surely thinking, “oh, that poor woman. What did that awful boy do to her adorable daughter.”

I was on the way back from Dallas in the car, Tyler had called me sounding like he had his own scratchy throat also, duh, so I texted him to let him know I was making him his OWN appointment.

On any normal day, I’m lucky to get that boy to answer the phone I pay for, for any reason.

But when I texted him to say he was going to the doctor, my phone rang lickety split.

{Note to self. When you need Tyler, threaten doctor visit, sans girlfriend.}

Tyler called and he is all, “Mom. Okay, like, I think I’m fine and if you take me to the doctor, it MUST be after school.”

I’m like, “Tyler, I don’t have any choice over doctor appointment times dude. We’ll take what we can get.”

We went back and forth, finally, I said, “Okay, I’m gonna call the nurse and say, um, hello, my son’s brain has dissolved into jello and he cannot spend 30 minutes at your office without his girlfriend present, so could you please be sure I have an afternoon appointment so we don’t need a medic?”

He wasn’t amused.

They had a 1:50 appointment, I took it and sent him the news.

BINGO. My phone rang again. I mean two calls in 15 minutes. A sheer record.

“Mom {slightly panicked}. Okay, first, I feel MUCH better. Second, KLOEY’S doctor conveniently looked at my ear, it’s swimmer’s ear, I’m fine, cancel that appointment.”

What would he do if his appendix ruptured?

“”Scuse me doctor, can you please let Kloey come into surgery with me? I cannot make it without her?”

Before you think that’s the end of the story, hang on, get a drink, it gets better.

Is there a doctor in the house?

Kloey was running a fever by last night. She was clearly down for the count.

Tyler came home, tired and cranky, and I knew, I mean I KNEW  it was because there was a good chance she would not be at school today and you know, like how would he breathe without her there to supply his very oxygen?

Sure enough, 6:30 am rolls around, thump, thump, thump down the stairs I hear him coming.

The door creaks open.

And there he was by the foot of the bed.

I creaked an eye open, knowing what was coming.

“Yes?”

And then, in the most absolute pitiful voice you’ve ever heard, he requested the only thing dumber than asking if he could sleep in a fort with her under her aunt’s kitchen table:

{SUPER SAD VOICE}: “Kloey is sick (sniff, sniff. Pause.} Can I skip school?”

Had it not been 6:30 am, I would have responded exactly like her mom did with that request to sleep in the fort.

“Uh, no. Not a chance.” (And just HOW would I explain that to the attendance clerk? They don’t offer two for one sick days!)

I politely told him to go to school, that he would be okay, and she needed to rest.

Even in the dark, and without coffee, I could see him looking at me like I had just stabbed him in the heart with a pick axe and twisted it around some.

Sorry, dude.

I felt bad later. Not because he was at school. But because he was genuinely worried and wanted to be with her.

I texted him and told him to come home after school and get some money to get her flowers and a card, or some get well gift.

THAT got me another record reply. He loved that idea. I could almost feel him beaming through the phone.

Score one for mom.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s episode of teenage love.

And if you were at that doctor’s office yesterday and saw them, “NO, IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!”

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