Bulls and Balls

Chewing away...

I ran to Petco this evening to get some new dog treats for Deputy Chief Brenda Lee Johnson-Bella. I grabbed some small training treats, some new tennis balls, various dog chews, and at the last minute, grabbed a Bully Stick.

AHEM.

Now, if you are not familiar with Bully Sticks, hang on to your hat, cowgirls.

My friend Jason over at Dog Makes Five  said his dog breeder highly recommended Bully Sticks as the best chew for dogs. They caught my eye and were stored loosely in a bin, no labels or ingredients, and only a sticker with the price.

I recalled our conversation about Bully Sticks, and I remembered that there was something kind of yucky about them, but I could not remember what it was.

So, I gingerly picked it up by the tips of my fingers and headed to the checkout.

Once I arrived home, I gave Bella the Bully Stick and she went bananas.

For the next hour, I wrapped Christmas gifts on the bed, and she sat on the floor, barely coming up for air from chewing on that thing.

At some point, I realized how intensely she was chewing on the braided rawhide, and I decided to Google ‘Bully Sticks’ to find out what they were made of.

AHEM, again.

That’s when I discovered that my poochie’s new chew toy, the thing she was sitting next to me gnawing like there was no tomorrow, is actually 100% BULL PENIS. Like, that is the only ingredient, my friends, bull weenie that has been dried and nicely braided to look all pretty and chewable, and not a damn thing like a bull thingy.

It's what??

Man, I tell you, I stopped and started at my computer, back to the dog and her treat. Back to the computer, back to the treat.

Then, just like magic timing, Jordan walked in to tell me he was bored and all of his friends were out.

I just stared at the computer and the dog.

He realized I wasn’t listening, looked at the dog, back at me, and said, “what is she chewing?”

I said, “a bull penis.”

He stooped over real low and just stayed like that for a second, staring at Deputy Bella and her new toy.

Finally, he looked back up at me and said, “WHAT did you say that is?”

I repeated, “a BULL PENIS.”

He looked immensely relieved and said, “OH! Whew! I didn’t hear the word ‘bull!’ All I heard was ‘penis’ and I thought that came off some dude!”

That comment just totally brought me out of my bull induced stupor and back to reality, and I said, “hey, if you’re bored, I heard of this great recipe today for Cake Balls, you want to help?”

He just stared at me and said, “are you okay tonight?”

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