Today was the first day of Thanksgiving holiday for the kids.

Luckily for me, they have the entire week off.

According to Chase, for the first time in like 25 years, instead of going to school Monday and Tuesday, and then missing the rest of the week, our school district was kind enough to give the kids all five days.

The flashback I am having is not the good kind, from college days, or one martini too many.

No, these flashbacks are only from about July, when I had more tween boys sleeping here than I could count, every single night, eating me out of house and home, while I tried to maintain a normal work life.

Every morning, I had to peek my head out of my bedroom, before I made any mad dashes to the dryer or coffee pot in my undies, to be sure there were no anonymous children here.

And most evenings, I walked into a living room full of kids, my husband being the biggest of them all, surrounded by junk food boxes, stray socks, wet swimming pool towels and the realization that someone was eating my Cheez Its.

Once they started in on my Diet Cokes, I had to put my foot down. I sent them all home, and sent my kids with them.

But, boy oh boy, when school started, I was the first in line. I almost camped out a week ahead of time.

Flash forward to this week.

So far, we’re up one kid extra, but two of mine are gone for the evening.

I didn’t walk into a room of kids playing Halo.

But, I did walk into, AHEM, an brand new box of Cheez Its GONE, AND, the big no-no, I found an empty Diet Coke can stuffed under the couch.

Time to talk, boys, otherwise the turkey won’t be the only thing around here feelin’ the heat.

As I was out in my car between client visits this afternoon, I received the final confirmation that the kids were, indeed, back on vacation.

Jordan sent me the following text message:

<SIGH.>

I called and asked where my husband was at, while Chase was pouring soda in Jordan’s hair and Jordan said, “Dad’s here?”

It’s never a good sign when your kids don’t realize their dad is somewhere in the same house.

I got Chase on the phone and informed him that pouring Orange Crush on Jordan’s head would result in further deteriorating Jordan’s already poor hygiene and said, “and by the way, what the hell were you doing pouring soda in his hair?”

The reply back was classic Chase, something we tease him relentlessly when he is not around:

“Uh, well, (insert absolute, utter, complete shock that ANYONE would question the given act) MOM, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, OKAY. I HAD NO IDEA THAT IT WAS GOING TO SPILL IN HIS HAIR!”

I quickly informed him that he was speaking to me through the phone, not the neighbors down the street, and asked him to lower his voice.

(Insert tone just less than a shout) “OKAY MOM, BUT I DIDN’T KNOW IT WOULD SPILL!”

I said, “Chase, how did the soda can end up over his head, tilted down?”

“Um, well, he does that to us all the time! IT’S NOT FAIR!”

His deflection skills are legendary around here.

I’m telling ya’ll, that child is a lawyer in the making.

WHATEVER. Orange soda in the hair?

I left my missing husband-in-charge to deal with that one.

And, I decided right then and there it was time for some old fashioned OVER.TIME.

I might need some local hotel reservations come Christmas break.

And, does anyone know if Egg Nog is on sale yet?

I’ve got my Brandy ready.

(If you want to know what life with three boys is like during a school break, take a look at this video from one of their ‘bored’ moments, from last Christmas. And then, right after you say a little prayer for me, go right ahead and send me your best Brandy. Or Jack Daniels. I’m not picky.)

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