Friday and Fairy Godmothers

Our resident Fairy Godmother (Aunt Jennifer) has reached iconic status in our house, well, almost.

We are making the 4 hour return trip from Dallas to Houston.

The kids had a blast. Evidently, Aunt Jennifer turned her Magic Kindgom of a house into a mini-7 Eleven for 4 days, unlimited food, movies, and rock climbing.

She even took them to Six Flags when it’s currently 105 degrees lately in Dallas.

“And Mom, there were NO lines, we got to ride EVERYTHING like three times!”

Imagine that? I’m sure it’s because the Six Flags workers were about to pass out from the heat, and not many people are paying money right now to walk around on black asphalt for 6 hours.

She’s a stronger woman than me for sure, I could never have pulled that off.

As we made arrangements to meet today, I happened to ask her if they had taken a bath, meaning, ‘did they take a bath this morning.’

So here’s the difference in between mom and Fairy Godmother….I’m thinking, four hour trip with teenage boys, I hope they are clean. That’s the mom in me. Clean kids. Normal expectations.

Aunt Jennifer’s response?

“Bath? Today? I don’t think they’ve taken a bath since they’ve been here now that ya mention it.”

 YEOWZA!

Her sense of smell must be as good as my sense of hearing  because how you could possibly stay in a house with 2 teenage boys for four days with no bath is beyond me.

I suggested we bump our meeting time back half an hour to allow for baths. I wasn’t sure I would make it home otherwise, unless we rolled the windows down the whole way home and seeing how it’s 104 degrees outside, that would not work either.

We finally meet to relieve her of her charges, and all 3 of them (kids and said Fairy) were proud that the baths were done.

I’m assuming Jordan’s bath was something that involved a sponge and no water on his feet.

Seriously, once he got in the car, we realized his feet smelled like 6 day old potato salad left on the front porch. Thank goodness there is no smellovision type thingy online.

I didn’t realize how bad it was until Robert offered to drive (I should have known right then) we switched places, and suddenly I was both overcome and trapped for the next two hours with the worse possible stench you can imagine.

I’m having flashbacks of baby bottles of formula thrown under the car seat and lost, during the summer. Or the dog getting sick overnight and us not finding it until the next day.

You get the idea.

I need one of those barf bags like they have on air planes to breath into.

I might have to take him to get a pedicure when we get home. It’s either that, or soak his feet in hospital strength lysol.

All’s well…Godmothers are supposed to do exactly what she did: spoil your kids rotten and send them back and the kids had a blast.

But I think Aunt Jen needs to go see my ENT for a nasal exam.

We are nearly home and Chase has started to say that Jordan’s breath smells.

His breath?

Pinching my nose while I talk: “Stick your head down by his feet and inhale. His breath will then smell just fine.”

And we have one hour left until we are home….I hope I can make it.