A few weeks ago, my husband got a new I-phone.
He is understandably thrilled. The kids and I have rotated through numerous versions of cell phones, and he patiently held on to his Razr for 7 long years.
I’m a gadget person myself, I had an I-phone before I switched jobs and had to jump ship over to a Blackberry. I understand the excitement an I-phone can create; they are undoubtedly nifty little gadgets.
But my husband has become so obsessed with his new phone and all the ‘apps’ that the kids and I have a new saying: “There’s an app for that!”
Two weeks ago as we headed to my family reunion, he yanked that thing out and exclaimed “Hey! I can map our route so we know where we’re going! There’s an app for that!”
Nevermind the fact that the trip was three hours on a single highway that I have been riding up and down since long before most of the ‘app’ developers were even born. We could not have gotten lost if I had been blindfolded.
He has spent hours downloading every conceivable app for that phone.
Wanna know when the stars are lining up a certain way?
There’s an app for that.
Feel like playing Luke Sykwalker with your pretend light saber?
There’s an app for that.
Looking for the latest dachshund racing scores?
There’s an app for that.
Last week as we headed grocery shopping, he proudly waved that phone in my face and all I could see were the words “CROCKPOT.”
I looked at him over the top of my sunglasses, like he had lost his mind and said, “unless you or that phone is gonna shop, cook, and clean whatever is goin’ in the crock-pot, the app doesn’t help me one bit.”
I swear, I am not trying to crush his app excitement. Maybe it’s because I’m stuck with my Blackberry like a ball and chain around my ankle and I’m subconsciously jealous.
But he finally crossed the line the other night.
We had gone to bed and…..(no Dad, this is not going where you think, it’s safe to keep reading) and I did what I do every single night: I turned on the TV to help fall asleep.
After 4 cups of coffee and 16 Diet Cokes a day, you would need Forensic Files to help you fall asleep too, I swear.
Robert was already sleeping, he shifted a little and I apologized for the TV noise.
Suddenly, just like a bolt of lightening had struck him in the ass, he sat straight up, scared the bejesus out of me, and said, you guessed it, “HEY! THERE’S AN APP FOR THAT!”
I squinted at him, cause I couldn’t see a dang thing in the dark, having nearly just peed in my bed with his out-of-nowhere Ninja moves, I said to him (very calmly, thank you,) “Oh no you didn’t just say that.”
He ignored my near stroke-like state and said, “Yes! It’s called a ‘white noise’ app! Do you want me to go download it for you?”
I said, “honey, in a few seconds, one of two things is gonna happen. Either YOU are going to be seeing a WHITE light because I am going to flat kill you dead. Or, there is going to be a NOISE coming from your side of the bed that sounds eerily like a strangled chicken if I hear about another freakin’ APP.”
Seriously. The only app I want at this point is the modern day equivalent of Rosie off the Jetson’s (if you’re too young, Google her,) complete with her speed and the little puff of smoke trailing behind as she whips around keeping things in order.
Until then, I’m just fine not knowing when the stars align or the Space Shuttle passes over Houston.
But if an app comes out that will cook dinner, could someone please e-mail me?
I want an app for that.
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Love the “out-of-nowhere Ninja moves” !
My celphone is dying (i.e. the address book disappeared)- question is what to replace it with? Blackberry or IPhone or other? Your story makes me wonder!
Funny. Like you, I have the BlackBerry. I’m not one to pine away for gadgets that I am not prepared to purchase. But, the apps do seem cool. Yes, even the light saber one. And, the iPhone holds a certain level of intrigue as a result.
My BlackBerry seemed cool when I got it. I can use it for driving navigation, send email, text, browse the Internet, even watch TV (though I have done that one only just to see if it really worked).
Truth be told, I suspect I am now too old to figure out how to add apps, or use them, having crossed the threshhold of techno-savvy into darn near elderly and befuddled when it comes to modern-day electronics. About a year ago, I decided to creep out of my 40ish fog, got the BlackBerry, started a facebook, and joined Linked-In. This summer I started my blog. I have caught up to a respectable level, I think. But, the cool-as-shit iPhone is probably just a step or two beyond my reach at this point.
Oh you are not too old to figure out an I-phone app. Trust me, if Roberto can do it, you can!
PS_New model he has only cost $100 with his 2 year contract! They have come waaaayyyyy down in price.
I am not a gadget person..a little afraid in fact..but “there is an app for that” is so appealing. It could take over for the part of my brain the kids stole.
Holly L´s last blog ..I Feel Special…Oh So Special!
If you find the part of your brain the kids stole, let me know, mine might be there too!
That is too funny! I have an iPhone and am not very App Crazy, but my husband is and he keeps pushing them on me. Love your writing!
Found you on MBC
Laura´s last blog ..Never Leave the House Without a Bra
I want a laundry app and a toilet cleaning app. HAPPY NEW YEAR